I get a lot of letters. I like that. I don't answer many of them, but I like that. I like most of them anyway. I get a lot of letters from people who are mad at me.
Gabriela Quintana says she was "honestly offended" when I said I wouldn't pay $1.50 for a cup of coffee in the CBS cafeteria. She didn't believe me.
"Do you fill up your tank or does your driver?" she wants to know.
I'll tell you what Gabriela, if you find I have a driver I'll buy you a thousand dollars worth of gas. The day I have to have a driver I'll quit driving. I'll just get in and say "Take me to Gabriela's house."
Lisa Glenn writes me a nice letter. I like the nice ones best. Lisa says I looked good last week because my eyebrows were trimmed.
Well, I hate to disillusion you Lisa after you were so nice to me, but I have never fooled around with my eyebrows. Susie fools around with my hair sometimes. Maybe that's what did it. To get ready to tape this piece for television, I comb my hair. But, if I do anything more, I look like someone else.
Lori Yates says I ought to quit. "I regret," she says about last week's remarks "that Mr. Rooney once again brought a message that was sadly and negatively off the mark."
"Sadly and negatively". Wow. I must have really missed the mark. I've thought of quitting but I decided against it. I was wondering what Lori does for a living. Maybe I could get her job.
Ginny Hardy writes a mostly nice letter complaining about my remarks about The Salvation Army. I admit I don't know much about The Salvation Army. It's a dumb name but I guess they do good work.
Steven Wishnoff says "I have nothing but the utmost respect for Mr. Rooney." You have to be careful with letters that start like that. Mr. Wishnoff continues "Mr. Rooney should measure his words more carefully."
He goes on to say that no matter what I think, real work is very hard to find. And I think he's probably right considering all the letters I got saying that. Maybe I didn't know what I was talking about. That's what I do for a living.
Written by Andy Rooney